15

i can totally remember back in the day when i was a very young wife(married at 18), looking at people who were celebrating 15 year anniversaries and thinking how LONG of a time it was to be together.
at that time, it seemed like an eternity away for us.
i was looking towards our five year thinking THAT was an accomplishment.
of course it was, but then...

 i blinked.

and here we are.

fifteen years in, overwhelmed with God's goodness and mercy each and every day.
praying that i can absorb even an ounce of it and pay it forward to my husband, my children and others.

i would do it all over again in a heartbeat, but with much more wisdom and purpose.

I, Mary, take thee, Nathan, to be my wedded husband

to have and to hold from this day forward

for better, for worse

for richer, for poorer

in sickness and in health

to love and to cherish

until death do us part.

we've been on the mountaintop.

and we've been in the valley.

i suspect we will be there again, but by the grace of God we will do it together.

there's no one else i'd rather be spending this one crazy life with than you, Mr. Krause.

happy anniversary.

xo,

mary

thirTEEN

some of you may know that i have officially been the mother of a teenager for a good nine months now.

you know your life is coming full circle when your daughters pinterest boards are cooler than your own.  :)

i mean, do i really look old enough to have a teenager?  ------------------------------------------------->

#dontanswerthat

this darling girl has been the recipient of all of my worst mothering mistakes.  she was my guinea pig. 

my heart's desire as a teenager(GASP! that's what she is!), was only to get married and have children.

seven was my 'magic' number.

after i had a few kiddos the number decreased, but by God's grace, i think it may just still be our number.
 but that's for a whole different post.  ;)

i got married to my love when i was 18, and one year and one month later, miss elly was born.

baby in arms...we were in LOVE.

now she's growing up on us.  *sigh*

as i look back at all of my naiveness as a young mother, and my millions trillions of mistakes, i see a story that is grace laced in every way. 

i was not always a great mother.  i was a very strict, demanding mama who required nothing less than perfection for a long time. 

of course, i know this is impossible, but it didn't stop me from trying.

i didn't give grace, and so that put a barrier between my very own daughter and myself.

as weird as it may seem, and as harsh as it feels to me, my daughter and i have not always connected in the way i thought we would.

it would take 13 years for me to fully grasp the gift that my daughter is to me and that she was specifically chosen for me.

what an honor and a blessing!

here are a few pictures of her birthday party this past february. 

it was a very bitter cold day, and her brother had a bad ear infection, but we had a great time just the same.

i know it seems late to post this, but i so badly want to document this vapor of a life.  :)

we chose a crafty theme for the maturing girl.

she requested fish tacos and individual nutella cheesecakes.  

#todiefor!

certainly the ONLY way we ended up where we are today is by the grace of God.

and a whole lotta caulk.  because Lord knows, He had to fill in a multitude of gaps that i left along the way.

and He still is.

elly is so much like me it hurts sometimes.

i think that contributed to our clashing.  ok.  for surely it did.

she is a beautiful girl, inside and out, and she is just bursting with talent!

i'd like to say that she is a lot like me in her love of creating. ;)

we both come alive when we are able to 'make'.

she also has a very tender heart, the best kind.

can you even stand the wisconsin sweater?  i am SO making that but with the united states on it!

she did that all by herself, and the sewing is amazing!

also, she has been able to bless a few of my bloggy friends(and others) with these baby moccasins. 

aren't they the CUTEST?

she is a wonderful knitter, a gifted pianist, loving sister, daughter and friend.

family singspiration just would NOT be the same without her.

this season of my life with her has {by far} been the best ever.

we totally 'get' each other, we love to create together, and yes, we share favorite TOMS and certain clothes.

i can break out in, "i just called......to say....i love youuuuuuu!" with fake mike in hand at target and she only gets mildly embarrassed.  :)

hey, that's my job!

so today, and every day, i'm so thankful that God chose ME to be her mother.

watching her grow up has been my privilege and i am keenly aware of how quickly time is fleeting.

we may only have her for a few more years, and i plan on enjoying every little bit.

eye rolls and all.

i hope she never forgets Who she truly belongs to.

she was bought with a price, a very high One, and my prayer is that she will radiate that Life to all those she meets.

Lord, i thank you so much for blessing me with this rare and precious jewel of a daughter.

may YOU shine brightly through her and continue to fill in all of my gaps!

mama loves you, elly grace.

xo, 

mary

go

i'm not gonna sugar coat this, dears.

this has been a hard week for me.

the results from tuesday were exposing my faithlessness in all sorts of ways.

one minute, i'd be walking on water{trusting!} and the next, i'd be in sackcloth and ashes{faithless!}...crying out to God.

as i was curled up in His lap late tuesday night, He calmed my fears, brushed away the tears, and i realized that THIS is what He wants from me all the time.

my complete attention and dependence.  

eyes fixed Above.

of course, all of this uncertainty and crazy turn of events is happening in the midst of the season of thankfulness, and there's nothing better to turn a frown upside down than a mile long list of blessings that are completely undeniable.

so here are a few of my #capturingourblessings from this week.
i have been playing along with rebekah on instagram and i am loving it!

first off, my privilege to vote.  i was able to give the kids a lesson in this as we went into our tiny town voters booth tucked in the basement of independent living apartments.  

there's plenty of old ladies with candy, and the cutest little americana curtains that i'm pretty sure one of them sewed to hide the old school write in voters stations.

i didn't get a sticker, but i felt a deep sense of pride knowing that i exercised my right to choose whom i feel would best represent this country with the morals and standards that are closest to those that God would be pleased with.

america is truly an amazing country.  we are blessed.

i captured this sweetness in the kitchen.  having a loving, Godly father for my children is an absolute joy and blessing.  He loves his children fiercely and always points them to Him.  always.

seeing the daughter/daddy love just about puts me into a puddle.

 

in typical God fashion, He had this package of blessings delivered right to my door step on wednesday.

wednesday would have to be the peak of my faithlessness this week.  

i mourned certain losses, and was melancholy at best.

a few weeks ago, i had seen a giveaway via one of my favorite blogs, Dreamy Whites, so i hopped over here to enter.

as it would turn out, i was the winner among many people who entered, and the timing was so appropriate.

His always is, you know?  He loves in the details.  and i love details.

maria is such a sweetie, and to say she has impeccable taste and incredible gifts would be an understatement.

in my package, i received a beautiful moroccan market tote, a monogrammed antique french linen sheet, two antique french linen pillow cases, soap, a lavender stuffed french grainsack pillow and a sweet sachet of lavender.

all of these treasures are my fave.  

head over to her shop to see more.

having a Bible believing, Gospel preaching, family of brothers and sisters in Christ is an absolute blessing.

we always go to prayer meeting on wednesday nights, 

but this night in particular i craved fellowship with my friends more than ever.

i needed love.

i needed encouragement.

i needed comfort and solace.

and that's exactly what i got.

if there is ever a time to seek God's face, it is now.  

Christians must band together and fight the good fight NOW.

this one may have been stretching it, but as i FINALLY sifted through ginormous piles of laundry, i couldn't help but be thankful for the bodies that fill these clothes that i so carefully fold into neat little piles.

you do not even want to see the mountains that remain, but i made a dent and that is always a good thing!

as i shake the dust off of my feet from this disappointing and rather difficult week, 

One thing remains the same throughout the crashing waves and uncertainty that lie ahead.

yesterday, today, forever, Jesus is the same.

all may change, but Jesus, NEVER.

glory! to His name!

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands.

 Serve the Lord with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

 Know ye that the Lord he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

 For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100

we, as a country, may have changed and forfeited His blessings by choosing 

sin and self indulgence over obedience to Him and His Word, 

but those who have put their faith and trust in Him have no need to fear.

the events of the week have been a call to action, friends!

a catalyst to GO and BE the hands and feet of Jesus, fearlessly proclaiming His name 

BOLDLY.

God cannot use those who sit, paralyzed in fear and complacency.

i do not want to live in fear and with constant worry.

so i will trust, as well as i know how.

i will spread His hope and the Gospel to the unreached that need to know.

we are SO ready to

  GO.

who do you know that needs to know?

are you with me?

xo,

mary

vintage marquee 'GO' letters found at this fun shop!

our thankful tree

hello, darlings!

how have you all been?

i don't even know where in the world to begin.

i have had about a million posts in my head swirling around but nothing has made it over here.

do you ever write blog posts in your head when you are lying in bed at night?

or when you get a RARE quiet moment during the day?

i do it ALL the time, but they rarely make it to the big screen(haha!).

i know for a fact that the Lord has prompted me to tell you certain things that have been on my heart, but i have failed to do it.

i have sort of been using instagram as a mini blog, but it doesn't replace me sharing the thoughts that are constantly running through my head, the meaning behind each photo that i take, or the lessons that HE is teaching me along the way.

i could litralee write a blog post for each IG photo,

but i tend to get overwhelmed thinking about it and so i don't do anything at all.

fail.

well, not today!

i'm going to start right here. right now.

what we did today.

and maybe someday i'll rewind and share some other really special moments we've been having, too.

if you would like to follow me on instagram, my username is mary_krause.

so, today we made a thankful tree.

a simple and inexpensive way to count our blessings.

because you can never, ever give thanks too much.

i started with an antique cast iron urn and a fake branch that i bought at 50% off from hobby lobby.

i think it was $4.

i know there are oodles of free branches outside, but this one looked really real(hubby didn't know it was fake), and i can reuse it over and over again.  that's my justification.  :)

my girls balled up paper and shoved it around the stick in the urn and then we added river rock on top.

you could use a ball jar, galvanized pail or a pretty white pitcher, too.  anything goes!

then i took an old trixie belden novel we had been using for other projects, ripped out some pages, drew a leaf template and started cutting!

we hole punched each one and then tied string to some of them for variety.

it sure didn't take long for the attitude to change in our home once the kids and i started writing down our lists of gratitude.

there's definitely something that changes in the air when you turn your eyes off of what you feel you may be lacking and focus on the many blessings that we already have.

our tree is already SO full of leaves!

the kids just kept adding to it all day long and it did this mama's heart good to see them get excited about what God has given us.

it's only day one and the branches are bulging(there's more now than in the picture below).

that's a very good sign.  :)

i don't have time for big fancy projects, and this one definitely passes the, 'i-have-so-much-laundry-to-fold- my-head-is-going-to-pop-off-and-i-need-to-make-supper-and-you-need-to-erase-those-letters-again-and-redo-them' test for this mama.  for reals.

hope you make one, too.

you're gonna love it.

xo,

mary

p.s.  want to know what i am really thankful for tonight?  living in a country where i can VOTE!  i am SO stinkin' excited to vote tomorrow i can hardly stand it!  i hope that you do, too!

some weeks are weird

last week was a weird week.

it was full of things out of the norm, like unexpected doctor visits, tooth extractions and an impromptu pumpkin patch visit preceeded by a vomiting child in my van.  yay!

now that the dust has settled, let's break it down, shall we?

first of all, last monday night, i found out that my husband was not going to have his normal tuesday off.

enter immediate bad attitude and pouting on my part.  

i had plans and that was TOTALLY messing with it.

fall is my absolute favorite season and the flip has officially switched over here.  

i love the smells, the colors, the comfortable feeling of bundling up in my favorite tube socks and sweaters and lighting my harvest pumpkin candle.  i love the wheat, pumpkins, bittersweet, crisp leaves and cinnamon coffee.  the apple crisp in the oven, cider brewing and warm simmering soups are just so very wonderful!

it's all so comforting to me.

so is going to the pumpkin patch.  and that is what i really wanted to do with nathan on tuesday, but it just couldn't happen, so the kids and i went alone. enter sad, pouty face.

also, does anyone want squash?  :)

so the kiddos and i made our way into town, despite my youngest having a tummy ache that morning.  he perked up and was acting fine, but apparently all was not well, because right on this street, when we had just made the 45 minute trip into town, he threw up.

so naturally, i took a picture.

after that, he felt totally fine, so we proceeded to head to the food co-op where they have all sorts of amazing pumpkin varieties and the price tags reflect their uniqueness, too. 

we did not buy our pumpkins here, but it was fun looking.  :)

fast forward a few days, and a whole lotta school in the middle and a double doctor visit which resulted in a tube of anti fungal cream for ringworm, and a hefty dose of electrolytes for my son(the puker) who was dehydrated. if that's not weird, i don't know what is.

friday was doomsday for me(draaaamaaa).  

i have had a troublesome tooth for some time now and it finally had to go.

this non morning girl had to get up at 5:00 a.m.

this whole extraction thing was a borderline traumatic experience for me.  like all of the pulling and tugging and cutting and stitching???  yikes!  also. i will never regrow that tooth.  i miss him already. 

apparently it wasn't traumatic enough to not take advantage of shopping afterwards, but once that novacaine wore off, i was ready.for.bed.  

thankfully by saturday i felt pretty normal again which seemed like a small miracle considering how i felt on friday.

so saturday i spent the day with the kids around the house.  sipping cinnamon coffee and listening to our favorite hymns while cleaning and rearranging a little.  i had my clearance target candle i bought the day before burning, and i stayed in my comfy jammies all day.  isn't that the best??

now is the time to go to hobby lobby for fall decor!  it's pretty much all 50% off. 

and target had the cutest grapevine pumpkins and wire baskets in their $1-$2.50 section.

sunday we spent the day at church and then my in laws for dinner like always.

reason #4567 to love fall?

BOOTS.

and these are my favorite!!!

don't you wish you're mother in law was my mother in law right now?  ;)

with 10 children and a husband who critiques her to perfection(inside joke), these pies are nothing less than amazing.

seriously.  you can be sure that everything that is in this pie was somehow made by her hands.  the lard she cooks down for the crust, the apples from their tree...she is a pioneer woman for sure.

she is also very wise.  

when her children were younger, she wanted to make sundays special, a day set apart, so she started making huge sunday dinners with ALL the fixins.  something for the kids to look forward to.

i feel totally blessed to be able to take part in this tradition today.

i have sat down many a time at her dinner table and felt an overwhelming feeling of blessing for all the work and diligence that goes into what's before me.

the reap a large harvest every year and they work so hard for it.

so last week had it's weird parts, but there were lots of normal, great parts, too.  

now it's wednesday of a new week alreadddyyyyyy!

time just flies to fast for this girl sometimes and it seems like the only thing i'm really good at some days is being behind.  yes, i'm consistently behind.  :)

do you ever feel that way?

xo,

mary