Monday, April 2, 2012

where chaos did abound, grace did much more abound

hello, april!
this is me. 
 PRE-wanting to scream at the top of my lungs, smoke coming out of my ears, and sobbing my eyes out.
you would not have wanted to be near me on saturday, friends.
 it was just one thing after the other.  for real.
you know that kind of day, right?
the one that starts off with your contacts being in your eyeballs inside out, causing blurred vision and a headache{i figured it out AFTER driving for 1 1/2 hours}.
the kind that you literally speed to make your destination on time{audition time at exactly 11:08 a.m.).  litraleeee.
the kind when your child is distant and cranky because they are nervous about performing in auditions.
the kind where you are distant and a tad cranky for your child.
the kind where you get to spend a glorious lunch at panera with your mom{whom you rarely see}, 
but then the happiness dissolves into anger when you are shopping at TJMAXX, and your boys tip the cart over and cause a huge scene in the majorly bustling store.  again.
the kind when you know you've reached your sane limit and you head over to old navy, despite your gut telling you to, almost as if you're asking for a panic attack.
it was the kind of day i wanted to be over.  like.  STAT,  but through all the chaos and grumpiness that engulfed me, grace did much more abound.
there were lessons to be learned, and i was the student.
i didn't reach for it in time to correct my mistakes, but i saw it in my mother's eyes, in my children's apologies and thankfulness throughout the stores, and in my husbands sweet love when i got home.
i needed grace. 
saturday was a lesson for me.
it taught me that i didn't do the right thing.  again.
sort of like the boys tipping  the cart.  again.  ugh.
i was short with my mom because i was embarrassed.
i was unforgiving towards my children.
i was cranky with my husband.
i was generally unthankful for just about everything.
fail. fail. fail.
but grace, completely unmerited favor, washes over me and makes all things new again.
His mercies are NEW each day.  even when mine aren't.
oh, to be more like Him!
it may have taken me a while to reach for it this time, but i hope that next time when all seems to be crashing down, i look up, and claim the gift that is already mine.
right away.
thank the Lord for grace abounding.
i am SO very undeserving.

"But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:"
Romans 5:20


linking up here, here, here and here!

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters          bits of splendor monday      


  1. I was going to post today about being in a funk too lately. I guess I kinda did. Boo for funks.
    Hope your have a great rest of the week, sweet friend :)

  2. I totally know days like this... He is so good to give us another chance- new mercy! Sweet Jesus. so thankful.

  3. thank you for sharing, Mary!!

  4. Thanks so much for sharing Mary! You help me feel normal and to forgive myself in all my daily failures. I love and appreciate your open honesty! Thank you Thank you! Love ya!

  5. oh girl...this is so me, like everyday. short, snippy, ugh! yuck. give yourself some are a beauty, inside and out...don't forget it!

  6. Mary! We should have hung out this weekend! We would have been a real fun pair! :) I TOTALLY understand where you were at- it's not fun! (I have to admit, the tipping the cart over deal made me giggle, is it funny to you yet? ) I am SO glad you have a patient hubbie and the assurance of our forgiving father. I will pray for you today my dear! That your heart would be FULL of joy and that you would have a few sweet minutes to yourself. You are AMAZING!!! And like Lish said- don't you forget it!

  7. Oh Mary, I love that, it was a lesson and you are the student, so so good, and I appreciate your vulnerability and honesty, it's always a beautiful thing...i admire and adore how you reached for grace, even though you think it might have been too late, but it wasn' have a heart that searched for it, and that's what God looks at.

    those pics of your daughter are so gorgeous! how'd the audition go?

  8. Mary, this is a great reminder for all mommies! Thank you Lord for your unconditional love.

  9. love this. very well said and a reminder for all of us! where would we be without grace!


your comments always brighten my day!

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.