fourteen

nathan and i have been married for fourteen years today.
DIDJA HEAR THAT!?!? FOURTEEN YEARRRRRSSSSS!
we got married on the COLDEST day of the year in 1998.  for real.

i dreaded walking down the aisle, but only because i hate being the center of attention.
even worse, i REALLY dislike crying in front of people.  and i was sure to cry.
my husband's dad was his best man, and my sister was my matron of honor.
our preacher and his wife sang beautifully, and he later preached the Gospel to our guests.
it was awesome.
my niece{flower girl} slept through the whole ceremony and our nephew{ring bearer} ran out throwing up. :)
the bubbles we handed out  froze and dropped straight to the ground.
we skipped out on our reception early,
because i'm not one who likes to be the center of attention, remember?
we walked on the wild side and bought a microwave with some of the money from the wedding that very night{we still giggle about that}. ;)
i literally cried, because i have always been a momma's girl, and the reality that i would never live at 'home' again, had finally hit me.  it didn't last long, though.
i was just out of high school, and all i ever wanted to do was get married.  and have kids.
i'm so glad that i did, but truth be told, i had no idea what this 'married with children' would look like.
does anyone ever, really?

we headed to wisconsin dells for our honeymoon after church the next day.
but waaaaay back in 1998, the dells pretty much closed down for the winter.
they didn't have crazy waterparks and twenty four hour everything like they do today.
we actually went to a local gas station to rent movies because there was so little to do.
the staff at rocky rococo{our eatery of choice the only place that was open} even sent us home a little newlywed package of kids toys and cups.  remember that, honey?

we were together.
and that's what mattered.
we were happy just. to. be. together.

i married an amazing man.
i may not have always thought that.
i definitely have not always expressed that to him,
but it's true.
he was made for me.
and by the grace of God alone, we are still together, and there's no one i could be happier with than him.

his mom taught me early on that love is a choice. every day.
that has never left me.  i must choose to love, even when i don't want to or 'feel' like it.
never trust your feelings.  ever.  they will betray you.
those words have jabbed me a few times over the years, and i am so thankful that they did.
and still do.
choice.

we have seen good times and bad.
ached in laughter and in pain.
i suspect there is a lot more of that to come.
and we will do it together, Lord willing.

we have four wonderful children that are growing so fast.
i fear that if i blink, they will be gone.
our first born was born only a year, a month, and a week after we got married.
man!  we were babies raising a baby.
we were fearless.

nathan is an amazing father.
his children adore him.
no really, ADORRRRRRE him.
like, as in, they worry about what they would do without him.
they pray for him to come home safely.
they run to him when he does.
it is so sweet.

he is my voice of reason.
he is the level-headed one.
he keeps me calm.
he is my back-up.
he supports me.
he loves me.
and i know it.
i really do.

more important than that, he loves Jesus, his Lord and Savior, and he doesn't take it lightly.
he has a passion to serve Him and a burden for the lost.
he is  a wonderful example of a Godly man.
oh, how he's grown in his faith.
he is someone that i aspire to be like.

today i am so thankful for the mercy and grace that has covered us and carried us through these 14 years.
we celebrate the love, commitment, and vows that we took before men and God that freezing cold day so long ago.
we had no idea what was to come, but we were excited to find out together.

God has been so evident in our lives, and as i look back i can see, with 20/20 vision, His guidance, provision, protection, and stern chastening, as a Father does to His own.
it is so, so good to feel loved.
by my husband and our Father.

so here's to loving each other with more wrinkles, less hair, thicker glasses, and a tighter squeeze into our clothes{heehee}, for many, many years to come.
let's grow old together, shall we?

if love is a choice, and it is, i'm always going to choose you.
i love you.

xo,